resolutions come and go

2012 plans and my most desperate hopes (not in order of priority. wish SOMEthing of that came true.)

1. find a band 
2. pimp my wardrobe in style of alexa chung
3. get a work experience placement at Kerrang! or New Music Express
4. be singing again and get back to the level I once had
5. improve my skills on the instruments I 'play'
6. stop being sad
7. be awesome instead
8. find my way back to the creativity and the ideas I always had
9. finish my novel
10. become friends with nice people who feel like me
11. be nicer to my friends
12. get rid of my problems
13. write more intelligent blog posts
14. post less, but better stuff
15. move on with life and look ahead as I should
16. be happier
17. be active, not only ambitious
18. reduce daydreaming and ACT instead
19. get an iPhone
20. learn how to use Photoshop properly and not just the light and contrast tool
21. tidy up my data at all our computers
22. be myself

TO EVERYONE I WISH A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR'S EVE AND AN AWESOME YEAR 2012. I STILL REMEMBER HOW WE CELEBRATED 2000 AND IT'S INCREDIBLE HOW TIME PASSED, HOW MANY THINGS HAPPENED. I KNOW SOME PEOPLE WHO SAY IT  HAVE BEEN A FEW AMAZING YEARS, I KNOW SOME WHO SAY IT WAS A DISASTER. BUT FOR EVERYONE I HOPE THAT IN 2012 THEIR WAY WILL BE STRAIGHT UP, AND I HOPE I'LL JOIN THE BUNCH OF YOU IN THAT. XXX

what is missing

Everything outside was covered with snow. As he looked out of the steamy window, he was slightly confused at first; he wasn't prepared to see such an amount of white powder outside. Yes, it was december. Yes, it was perfectly normal that it was snowing, it was even a bit late for that. But to him, it was still earliest autumn. Autumn? No, rather an indefinite season without characteristic features like falling leaves, snow or bright sunshine. His life had been an awful mess throughout the last months, he had missed to notice that time had passed. Everyone around him seemed to be in a jolly Christmas mood, decorating their homes, buying presents; everywhere he went were Christmas markets, sweets, toys, mulled wine- Santa seemed to be waving round every corner. 

He felt surreal. Inside his mind, it wasn't yet Christmas time, it wasn't december, it wasn't the time for roof tops to become all white and wet. All his attempts to create that appropriate feeling he was missing in his head artificially failed, all the mince pies, glittering lametta and mistletoe remained meaningless and misplaced curiosities, and inside- inside there was a strange emptiness and an asystole of time.

Last Londonesque

That was a sad day. I was so upset I had to leave, I didn't talk a lot, and we couldn't do anything interesting, either, because we had to be off to the airport at about 1pm. Everyone of the girls except me wanted to have a full English breakfast before we left, so we went into sort of little pub where they offered it for 6 pounds. Glad I didn't order, because it was already cold and not really tasty, as the others said. Here are the pictures of the last day.

Clearing the rooms.

On the way to the bus stop of the National Express bus service. The mailbox where several postcards of mine disappeared. My family didn't get it, my grandma did and my cousin is still waiting.

Please DON'T order anything here. The breakfast wasn't the big prize, honestly, but I was too miserable to take a pic.

Mine is the black one in the foreground. The fancy one got all the attention, it was huge.

Time to say Goodbye.

That was taken in the bus already. Lovely landscapes and lots of sheep all the way long.

We had Wi-Fi IN the bus. How did they do it?

At the airport.

Killing time before the flight. One of the girls really put all that sugar into her coffee. Bet it was really 'tasty'.

Still waiting. London Stansted.

I MISS IT AND I'M TRYING HARD FOR MY COMEBACK THERE. LOVELY LONDON.

reflections

It's about time

A cold shower
An alarm bell
The mind shaking
And awaking
You should not rely on fortuna and god
They are not the ones who can bring you a change
It is about time to stop taking.