A neurotics life is like an onion- the more skins you peel off, the more you cry. The dreams and phantasies- skins- that you create around the core of reality are so much thinner than reality, the onion, itself, so much more fragile- how do you even come up with the idea that they might persist? You may want to find a way of keeping yourself from consciously fooling yourself, pal, because otherwise you're going to run out of tears before you run out of years.
Some ideas you had were one skin, some ambitions and feelings another; people have been made up, impressions were given for nothing. And all the trouble only to wrap up an onion you still don't want to see.