what days

Perhaps it is getting slightly warmer outside, but sincerely- I don't notice it. I'm freezing. I feel like someone stopped the circulation of my blood and there's nothing left inside me that might keep up my temperature. Plus, the heating in my house mysteriously stopped working one and a half weeks ago. Sad story, isn't it. Trying to replace hot blood with hot tea, but something tells me it's not really a jackpot solution. Pot, haha.

I used to think I was one of the tougher cookies, but now I only feel completely crushed and constantly unsatisfied. All my attempts to change my miserable state of mind/life/everything lead nowhere; I tried to cheer myself up buying nice things- new pens, new bags, new clothes, new little trifles- and going outside for a run while keeping eating less to get rid of my last bits of fat (yes, I like very skinny people, please don't dislike me now), but for some reason the first thing didn't work and the second one...well. I don't like sports and don't like running, but love eating. Now please go and guess how happy this could have made me. A fools' dilemma actually, isn't it? When I'm upset, I need to eat something, but after eating something I am desperate about just having consumed unnecessary calories.

Please unfollow my blog immediately because I'm talking absolute rubbish.

...though actually I might treat you to a few nice short stories and other quite interesting things very soon, they're almost ready...Seriously, if the weather doesn't get warmer and sunnier within 100 hours I'll just disappear somewhere in space. This grey sky, in combinations with everything else, kills me.