A couple of weeks ago when I was finishing my degree I kept repeating to myself that as soon as I'll be through, life will change. I will be reborn. There won't be an estimated trillion of books and articles waiting to be read, no papers, no thesis, no oral or written exams. The world would be my playground, I thought, I will finally read the books that I have been putting aside for so long, because of other things that were to be read and I was yet to find a voodoo ritual that would actually succeed in expanding my day from 24 to 34 hours. When I'd be through, I'd work on my online art shop, re-do the graphics of all items, make them prettier and more professional. Same procedure for my blog. I'd find a student job. I'd sort out my wardrobe and my iTunes. I'd do it all!
After finishing my thesis in the morning hours of the deadline day and a few more oblivious days where I got used to not having work on my desk, I found myself huddled in a rocking chair, watching old austrian crime series.
Nah, now pull yourself together, I thought and I actually went and got some stuff done. I started my master studies. I tidied up my laptop. I drew a lot. But I felt like I should get better, I was annoyed with myself for being mediocre. Work, girl, work! Yesterday, I sat down with my last piece of proper paper, determined to make something really, really cool. To illustrate a song I like, actually. Well- hours later, I'm browsing art accounts on instagram, marvelling at other people's works and mentally baking an 'at least you tried'-cake for my loser self. Suddenly I have an idea: another portrait of Alexa Chung, more classic this time, ink & water colours, with a little cool extra detail... YES. This is it. I'll do it. I'll find a photo of her that I can use right NOW. Oh man, can't wait to get it done.
Hours later, I'm through with most make-up video tutorials and style tumblrs & I'm basically googling for a magic potion that would turn me into Alexa. 'Child,' I think, 'you wanted to bloody draw her'. ...But this evil eye ring that she has in some of the older pictures, I kinda want that too. The one she has is too expensive, the ones you can get in other stores are just ugly or not quite it. ...I open a new google tab and type: