2014-02-06

untitled #19

"Sometimes, when I have a long close look at my own thoughts and emotions, I feel like the best thing to do would be to pull a brown paper bag over my head and head straight for the closest cliff I could throw myself off. I feel like picking up scissors and cutting a few connections in my brain. Like- Kira, what the actual fuck? Pull yourself together. I feel like that much of an idiot in what I feel that I'd destroy anything that might suggest I ever existed, and immediately leave for Tibet to pretend I'm a rock for the rest of my life, rather than admit what I actually feel, or think, or hope for. The big question is, should feel I as stupid as I do? The big answer is probably YES. The big problem is, the only opinion I can consider is my own because I will NEVER EVER tell anyone what this is all about."

4 comments:

  1. I admire you for being honest to yourself and being able to write down your thoughts in this kind of way. I think a problem we all have is to admit that there are things in your head you don't want to have there and that are still havin so much control on you. And all the time you are questioning whether this all is just some screwed up stuff you are making up only to have a reason to fell sorry for yourself.

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    Replies
    1. thanks... nah its kind of more about getting attached to people/ideas/expectations and that kind of stuff, not about pitying yourself... its like you understand its naive to think/feel that but you can't help it and think "jesus, what the hell is this and can it maybe stop"

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  2. I can relate on some level to what you're saying. You're not stupid, you can't help what you feel. You just have to ride it out xxx

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